Trusting God in the middle of His promises

Posted by Evan in Devotional, Slide

What a week this has been. After months of preparation (mostly spiritual), much prayer and trusting in the promises of God I’m living in Texas. To be completely transparent with you I’ll let you know that I feel nothing like I expected. I’ve been EXTREMELY discouraged since I arrived here. From the moment we set out on our drive across the country I’ve been covered by what has felt like a cloud of discouragement and doubt. This week has been hard. The story has a good ending… er middle rather, but I’ll get to that.

Most of the discouragement has come in the form of financial concerns. My needs are met, make no mistake, but things are tight and I’m being stretched in a way that I didn’t realize I needed stretched. It also doesn’t make things easier that I live in an apartment that costs $200 more per month than my house payment in Indiana. Cost of living is higher, to say the least. I’m also in the process of eliminating debt, etc. In just the last couple of weeks I’ve had an unexplainable decrease in work which has made things even more challenging. It’s been very easy for doubts to creep in. “God, why did you lead me here only to pull the rug out from under me financially” has been the sentiment of my prayers. In moments of clarity I see His perfect provision, even though it seems to wait until the last possible moment to intercede in my circumstances. I don’t need to go on and on about the circumstances, I’m sure at some point in your life you’ve faced a similar situation. But this is where the story changes.

Tonight I attended the first worship service at Gateway since moving here. The worship was of course amazing and was a wonderful reminder of His Amazing Love and how unimportant my struggles seem in comparison. Pastor Dino Rizzo from Healing Place Church in Baton Rouge, LA was speaking and so many of his words were an incredible encouragement in this time. He spoke about how Satan loves to cause a storm after an act of obedience, and how when we take a step to be where God wants us he’ll come in and try to destroy our trust and our faith. Amen to that.

He also talked about being in “the middle” of God’s promise. God gives you a promise and in the process of getting to that promise you have to experience the middle, which is the process of turning you into the person He needs you to be in order to fulfill that purpose He has for you. Amen to that.

The scripture was Luke 8:22-25 where Jesus is napping in the boat and the disciples begin to worry about the storm that comes about. He asks them where their faith is. I feel ashamed that I was so quick to doubt God’s promise just because things haven’t been just the way I wanted them to be. Instead I should be trusting in His perfect plan and provision, even if it doesn’t make me as comfortable as I’d like.

After the service was over, a man sitting in the row in front of me asked me if he could have my contact information. I was excited that someone at church had taken the time to introduce themselves and was interested to get in touch with me, but of course I was curious, why had he asked? Turns out he heard me tell someone else sitting next to him about being a web designer and he himself is a search engine optimization specialist. God is amazing.

Several times this week Abraham has come to mind. When you think about God asking him to sacrifice his son Isaac it’s easy to focus on the sacrifice, reflecting on how difficult it would be if God asked you to do something so unbelievable. But I’ve been thinking about another aspect of God’s command. Remember the promise that God had given Abraham? The promise to make his descendants as numerous as the stars through Isaac? Well, that promise was obviously tied to Isaac’s fate and I believe the reason that Abraham was willing to take the steps of faith up that mountain in Moriah to sacrifice his son was because he believed that God wouldn’t break his promise. He trusted his son would live because God had already promised to bring Abraham many descendants through him.

So, I’ll continue to trust. Trust that if there are valuable trust lessons for me to learn through hard financial times that it’s for the best.Trust that if God wants me to live a life of limited financial means that I’ll be okay with whatever he provides. Trust that He has made me a promise and that he never breaks his promises.

Re-remembering God’s Promises

Posted by Evan in Devotional

20 For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. – II Corinthians 1:20

I’m the type of person that has to re-learn things quite frequently. I’m sure journaling would help, but for whatever reason I tend to learn/realize something which helps me through circumstances I’m in only to forget it and rediscover it later. Lately it has been happening a lot. One day I’ll remember that God has a plan and I’m right in the middle of it and I delight in that truth, then the next day I’ll spend half the day at a heightened state of anxiety only to remember that same truth again late that day, or maybe the next.

I trust I’m not alone on this, but I’ve been pondering why I do this to myself. Why, when I remember or discover these amazing, truly life-saving truths don’t I find a way to retain them, forever? I’ve even considered getting a tattoo recently just to place an indelible mark that will (hopefully) constantly remind me of the Amazing God who loves me and wants me to love Him. All because it’s far too important that I not forget His promises and provision. Not right now.

So what are some of these truths that have been so valuable to me personally? I’d love to share a few of them.

1. My Father loves me too much to allow me to stay in circumstances that draw me further away from Him. Most of us have heard God referred to as the Potter who shapes and molds us throughout our lives in preparation of Heaven. Recently I heard a pastor talking about the tools of a potter and how they’re sharp, rough, even unsightly. However, what they produce is undoubtedly beautiful. I can testify that it’s through the most painful experiences in life that God is able to make the most drastic – and beautiful – changes in us.
2. When God has a plan for you, He’ll equip you to fulfill it. It’s unbelievable how easy it is to doubt the calling God has placed on your life. I’ve had confirmation upon unmistakable confirmation and still sometimes doubt that God is truly going to do all of the things He’s allowed me to glimpse. If you can look back over the history of your life and see an area where God has gifted you, or even a new direction God is taking you, and you’ve confirmed it through prayer and reading, follow Him!
3. God works all things for the good for those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose. I hope you don’t see this verse (Romans 8:28) and roll your eyes. This is an amazing promise, but also a call to fix our eyes on Jesus. It’s important to remember that “all things to the good” isn’t a guarantee of no bad days or even terrible ones. It’s a promise that no matter what you experience, no matter what you have to go through, God already has a plan to use those experiences to mold you and move you towards becoming the ultimate instrument of His praise.

So, fellow forgetters of God’s promises, let’s press on! Let’s commit to finding ways, minute by minute, to remember His love and provision for us! When you’re hurting, when you need Him most, search for and cling to those promises in His Word. He’ll be glorified and you will be filled with joy, even in the midst of suffering. I promise.

Giving praise where it’s truly due

Posted by Evan in Devotional, Slide, What's new with me?

I’m sorry, I can’t hold it in any longer. The last 5 months of my life have been unbelievably amazing. Despite the fact that the events were catalyzed by the end of my marriage, I’ve seen God do amazing things this summer and I wanted to take the time to share them.

Back in April my entire life changed. Most significantly my heart was supernaturally transformed from a person who was consumed with self, greed and stuff into a person who is totally consumed with Jesus Christ. I had nothing to do with this transformation, let me be clear. I had been praying over the last couple years the same prayer, over and over, “God, please change my heart”. There were many areas of my life that, despite my faith in Jesus, weren’t surrendered to him. Allow me to give painful detail:

1. I wanted what I wanted far more than I wanted what God wanted. I grew up poor and above all else wanted to become rich so I could have stuff and things. I wanted security, subconsciously, so I wouldn’t have to depend on God. I could get by on my own thank you very much.
2. Subconsciously I was always trying to “do enough” so that God would be pleased with me. Somehow along the way I totally forgot that my deeds are like filthy rags before the Lord, and my only hope of ever making God “happy” was by being atoned for by Jesus.
3. I had selfish reasons for wanting to be seen as a “man of the Word” and an authority and mentor on things of the Bible. I used to get angry because people didn’t come to me wanting Biblical advice. After all, I knew it all, so why WOULDN’T you want to get my input? I’m ashamed…
4. I couldn’t use the talents God has given me for service because I was too busy being proud of them. In my mind all of my gifts and talents were a result of my hard work, not a gift from God that was given so I could glorify Him.

All of these things changed within a 1 month period of time, so much so that it was overwhelmingly obvious that the Hand of God had truly reached down and took the time to clean up this wicked sinner. Praise His Name!

Not long after this I had a heart for worship that I had never known. I had also been praying over the last year for God to show me what true worship was. I didn’t believe in “emotion-filled” worship, and I also didn’t feel like I was experiencing anything I would have considered worship most of the time. For the first time in nearly a year I picked up my guitar and prayed that God would allow me to praise Him through music. Music began pouring out of me, I couldn’t contain it. I would stay up until 2 or 3:00 in the morning and I just couldn’t put it down, it was amazingly beautiful. I started to see that when my hearts desire was to truly glorify God He would do amazing things through me. For the first time ever I surrendered my talents totally to Him, I knew they weren’t meant for my glory.

Once I had found a love for worship music I started digging through iTunes to see what worship music was on there.  In the past I listened to a few Christian artists, but they had to pass a strict list of technical requirements and talent-level tests before I thought they were worthy. I was missing the point. I had always liked “Revelation Song” by Kari Jobe so the first thing I did was buy her album, which had just been released I believe. That night I laid in my bed listening to that album, eyes closed and weeping. I realized at that moment that God, despite my circumstances and the pain I was feeling, was worthy of praise. He was more than enough for me. His love was far more than I would ever need. My heart was filled and overflowing with Praise for my Amazing God.

Eventually, through Kari’s music, I discovered Gateway Worship and started listening to them. One night I was watching a Gateway Worship DVD and I heard God tell me “I will take you there”. At first I didn’t think too much about it, but a few moments later, as I realized those words didn’t come from my own thoughts, I got on the floor and began praying. “God, if this word is from you, I want it. Take me there. I will go anywhere you want me to go, use me.” I didn’t even know where Gateway Church was located at the time I don’t think. All I knew is that I now had a sense of purpose, a clear direction that I was going to follow.

My cousin Anton is my best friend and a brother in Christ that is wise beyond his years, the Spirit of God speaks loudly through him. I told him about what had happened and that’s when I received my first confirmation. As it turns out he had a friend who had been worship leader at a church in Florida he attended. This person had accepted a position at Gateway Church, so they were now one of the leaders of Gateway Worship. So, literally the day after I receive this calling I found out that my cousin here in Indiana knows someone who’s not only on staff at Gateway Church, they’re one of the leaders of Gateway Worship. And this wasn’t the only confirmation I got, I had another friend who also “happened” to have connections with people in Gateway’s audio/video departments. I began to give praise to God each time He would give me these sorts of confirmations. It made it very easy to take steps of faith.

I started connecting with people from Gateway, and specifically people in Gateway Worship on Facebook. Instantly I had a couple of people who took an active interest in my journey and were awesome encouragers. Eventually I decided that it was time to go and visit Texas and see what the church was all about. As I started thinking about it I was growing a little anxious. I could easily have driven to Texas, attended a church service and never spoken to a single person, the trip could prove to be fairly uneventful and that would have been extremely confusing. I prayed one night for God to show me what I should do in preparation for the trip. I had always been a big self-promoter, trying to do things the right way to get the desired outcome, etc. I didn’t want to do this that way. I wanted God to show me what to do and provide a way if this was what He was calling me to.

The next morning I received a message on Facebook from someone who sings with Gateway Worship. Heidi had been incredibly supportive from the beginning and her message was an unmistakable answer to my prayers the night before. She had suggested someone to get in contact with to make my visit to Gateway more fruitful and get my questions answered. She also invited me to sit in on pre-service run throughs with Gateway Worship. Yep, I cried. Never before had I seen God’s answers to my prayers so quickly and obviously.

These sorts of prayer answers came frequently and eventually I had enough faith in the calling that I put my house up for rent… and found a Christian family, who were wanting to move to the area to start a church, to rent it the same day. I was invited by my dad to come and stay with them until I had the money saved to move to Texas, so I took him up on it. After all, I still hadn’t been to Texas and I, at the very least, needed to go down there to look for a place to live before making the move. As it turns out, God had a plan for taking me to my dad’s house too. A couple of weeks after I moved in I went to see Kari Jobe lead worship in Ohio and my 17-year-old brother Austin came with me. He decided, on the 4 hour car ride home, that he wanted Jesus in his life too. Again I was humbled, and brought to tears, by this overwhelming display of God’s sovereignty.

A couple of weeks later I drove, with Austin, to Dallas Texas.

The weeks leading up to the trip were extremely challenging. I recognize them now as spiritual attacks that were attempting to lead me away from the path God had convinced me to walk on. In hindsight it’s scary how close I came to explaining away the calling to Texas. Through the distraction I knew that once I got to Texas and visited the church I would know, for sure, wether or not God was calling me there. It’s hard to explain how conflicted I felt about things at that time. (In writing this now I’m sorry that I questioned the calling in the first place)

I had the entire weekend filled with meetings that had been arranged with Heidi as well as Jason, one of the associate pastors of worship at the church. Saturday I was invited to sit in on a pre-service run through of all of the music for that evenings service. I drove up to the church (an impressive building) and parked in the otherwise empty parking lot. It was quite odd walking into this huge building that’s obviously design to accommodate thousands of people and yet seeing no one else. As I opened the doors I was instantly met with the beautiful sounds of a cappella vocal harmony. They were singing “Here in Your Presence” by New Life Worship. I got chills, I’m not gonna lie. I followed the voices around the hallway until I saw a door that lead into the auditorium. There I sat for an hour or so and experienced worship in-person with this group that only weeks ago I had been worshipping with through a DVD. I was overwhelmed, many times, by how far, and to where, God had brought me. And I knew this was home.

Afterwords I got to meet Heidi and had a few questions answered. It’s a bit of a blur now, but I do remember expressing to her what an answer to prayer she had been on that night when I prayed for God to show me what to do on my visit. She said God had told her to encourage and help me. Praise God.

The next day I had arranged to meet with Jason, one of the associate pastors of worship at the church. He answered even more questions and was an unbelievably loving brother in Christ. He took me back to meet everyone who was leading worship that weekend, which was great. I also Got to finally meet Kari Jobe, but I didn’t say much. Hopefully in the coming years I’ll be able to explain to her the amazing ways God used her to communicate His love and more-than-enough-ness to me.

After all of that I ran into someone else that I had been communicating with on Facebook. April and her husband Marco. We sat for a while and I was instantly amazed at the similarities between us. They’re both graphic designers and musicians with amazing love for the Lord. I instantly felt a connection with them that has grown by leaps and bounds since I got back to Indiana, I’m most excited to see what God has in store for that relationship.

So, my visit to Texas was the most amazing confirmation I could have ever wanted. I found an apartment and I got a peek at what God has in store for me at Gateway as well as the friends He has connected me with already. I’ll be moving the first week of October and I couldn’t be more excited. I already have plans for pursuing my calling to leading worship and writing music the moment I arrive there. God is good and faithful. The anticipation and excitement I have about the coming years pours out of me. I’ve seen mere glimpses of what He has in store for me and I’m humbled and overwhelmed.

I write all of this not to tell you how awesome my calling is, or how excited I am about going to a church where Kari Jobe is one of the worship leaders. I write all of this to give praise to our Amazing God for His faithfulness. For His ability to truly rise us out of the ashes of life. For His unfathomable sovereignty. For His Amazing Love. Even if you can’t write, play or sing music, your life-song can sing out God’s praises. Praise Him!

Just a moment of your time

Posted by Evan in Devotional, Slide

I’ve met a couple of celebrities over the years. I’ve never been too enamored with fame or those whom fame thrusts into the spotlight, but I do have a few heroes that I was happy to meet.

Quite a few years ago a friend and myself arrived early (far too early) for a concert in Cincinnati Ohio. As we stood outside nearly five hours before the concert an extremely tall man walked past and after a second or two I realized it was Steve Vai, the very man we were standing in line to see that night. I’m guessing you have no idea who Steve Vai is, and I can’t say I blame you, he’s a solo guitarist who is admired by pretty much every guitar player on the planet. I ran over, introduced myself and shook his massive hand, it was pretty cool.

Just a few weeks ago I got to meet someone else that I admire greatly, Kari Jobe. She’s a worship leader and vocalist who I hadn’t heard much of until about 6 months ago. I was visiting Gateway Church in Texas, which is the church I’ll be joining once I get moved to Texas, and she’s one of the associate pastors there. What I couldn’t tell her at the time, but hope to tell her one day is how God used her, in the darkest period of my life, to remind me that He was more than enough for me. It was an amazing blessing.

But there’s one encounter that tops them all.

Tonight when I was praying I was struck, again, for what seems the hundredth time in the last 6 months with an amazing thought: The Creator of the universe is willing to spend time thinking about, talking to and having a relationship with me. Whoah. Of all of the people in the universe from whom I could steal just a moment of their attention, none of them could ever top that. The same God that spoke the heavens into existence and assigned names to the countless stars pursues me, cares about me, wants me to care about Him.

Have you pondered that before? Despite the fact that he knows everything, the good – and the bad – about you, He loves you to a degree that you cannot even fathom. And nothing will make him happier than for you to love Him back! My prayer for you is that today, even right now wether you’re sitting in a cubicle or at home in front of your computer, that you’ll take a moment and allow yourself to be overcome by His Amazing Love.

Telephone

Posted by Evan in Devotional, Video Production

Here is the latest video I produced for Positive Influence. It’s called Telephone and it’s one of my favorites of the series.

Quote of the Day: Superstition

Posted by Evan in Devotional

This was on my heart today, trusting it will be helpful to someone out there.

Superstition is the belief that something inconsequential can somehow trump the will of God. Trust in Him!